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Johnson & VanVonderen, 'The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse':
Characteristics of a spiritually abusive parent or leader:
The effects of spiritual abuse on children by parents:
- Anger/rage due to powerlessness of abuse in childhood
- Confusion, anxiety and depression due to abuse in childhood
- Unhealthy and distorted view of God
- Loss of ability to trust God and others
- Low self-esteem and self worth
- Co-dependency in adulthood
- Lack of boundaries in adulthood
- Controlling and abusive behavior in adulthood with friends, spouse, coworkers, etc
How does God view spiritual abuse:
When a child believes what they are told to be from God, but it turns out to be false, he/she can experience disappointment and disillusionment not only with the parent who led him/her in the counsel, but toward God Himself. That is why spiritual abuse is so serious in God's eyes.
God’s heart toward the spiritually abused child: Jesus said regarding children. “If anyone causes one of these little ones, those who believe in me, to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 8:16
Jeff VanVonderen observes that the symptoms exhibited by one who suffers spiritual abuse are point by point the same as a victim of incest. Each is a case of a trusted caregiver violating that trust in one of the most intimate parts of our human nature.
Marks of a Spiritually Abusive Environment
The following consists of verbatim citations of copyrighted material from Chapter 5,6 of "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.”
1. Power-Posturing
Power-posturing simply means leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and reminding others of it, as well.
They spend a lot of energy posturing about how much authority they have and how much everyone else is supposed to submit to it. The fact that they are eager to place people under them-- under their word, under their "authority"-- is one easy-to-spot clue that they are operating in their own authority.
2. Performance Preoccupation
In abusive spiritual systems, power is postured and authority is legislated. Therefore, these systems are preoccupied with the performance of their members. Obedience and submission are two important words often used.
The way to tell if someone is doing the right thing for the wrong reason is if they are keeping track of it. Let's say that another way. If obedience and service is flowing out of you as a result of your own dependence on God alone, you won't keep track of it with an eye toward reward, you'll just do it. But if you're preoccupied with whether you've done enough to please God, then you're not looking at Him, you're looking at your own works. And you're also concerned about who else might be looking at you, evaluating you. What would anyone keep track of their godly behavior unless they were trying to earn spiritual points because of it?
For many reasons, followers sometimes obey or follow orders to avoid being shamed, to gain someone's approval, or to keep their spiritual status or position intact. This is not true obedience or submission, it is compliant self-seeking. When behavior is simply legislated from the outside, instead of coming from a heart that loves God, it cannot be called obedience. It is merely weak compliance to some form of external pressure.
3. Unspoken Rules
In abusive spiritual systems, people's lives are controlled from the outside in by rules, spoken and unspoken. Unspoken rules are those that govern unhealthy churches or families but are not said out loud. Because they are not said out loud, you don't find out that they're there until you break them.
The most powerful of all unspoken rules in the abusive system is what we have already termed the "can't talk" rule. The "can't talk" [rule] has this thinking behind it: "The real problem cannot be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change; so it must be protected behind walls of silence (neglect) or by assault (legalistic attack). If you speak about the problem, you are the problem.
4. Lack of Balance
The fourth characteristic of a spiritual abusive system is an unbalanced approach to living out the truth of the Christian life. This shows itself in two extremes:
Extreme Objectivism
The first extreme is an empirical approach to life, which elevates objective truth to the exclusion of valid subjective experience.
This approach to spirituality creates a system in which authority is based upon the level of education and intellectual capacity alone, rather than on intimacy with God, obedience and sensitivity to His Spirit.
Extreme Subjectivism
The other manifestation of lack of balance is seen in an extremely subjective approach to the Christian life. What is true is decided on the basis of feelings and experiences, giving more weight to them than what the Bible declares. In this system, people can't know or understand truths (even if they really do understand or know them) until the leaders "receive them by spiritual revelation from the Lord" and "impart" them to the people.
In such systems, it is more important to act according to the word of a leader who has "a word" for you than to act according to what you know to be true from Scripture, or simply from your spiritual growth-history.
As with the extreme objective approach, Christians who are highly subjective also have a view of education-- most often, that education is bad or unnecessary. There is almost a pride in not being educated, and a disdain for those who are. Everything that is needed is taught through the Holy Spirit. ("After all, Peter and Timothy didn't go to college or seminary...")
5. Paranoia
In the church that is spiritually abusive, there is a sense, spoken or unspoken, that "others will not understand what we're all about, so let's not let them know-- that way they won't be able to ridicule or persecute us." There is an assumption that (1) what we say, know, or do is a result of our being more enlightened that others; (2) others will not understand unless they become one of us; and (3) others will respond negatively.
In a place where authority is grasped and legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous, or unspiritual people outside of the system who are trying to weaken or destroy "us." This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave-- because they will then be outsiders too. While it is true that there is a world of evil outside of the system, there is also good out there. But people are misled into thinking that the only safety is in the system.
Ironically, Jesus and Paul both warned that one of the worst dangers to the flock was from wolves in the house (Matthew 10:16, Acts 20:29-30).
6. Misplaced Loyalty
The next characteristic of spiritually abusive systems is that a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. We're not talking about loyalty to Christ, but about loyalty to a given organization, church, or leader.
Once again, because authority is assumed or legislated (and therefore not real), following must be legislated as well. A common way this is accomplished is by setting up a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God. Questioning leaders is equal to questioning God.
"We Alone Are Right"
There are three factors that come into place here, adding up to a misplaced loyalty. First, leadership projects a "we alone are right" mentality, which permeates the system. Members must remain in the system if they want to be "safe," or to stay "on good terms" with God, or not be viewed as wrong or "backslidden."
Scare Tactics
The second factor that brings about misplaced loyalty is the use of "scare tactics." We're already seen this in some of the paranoia described in the last section. Scare tactics are more serious. This is more than just the risk of being polluted by the world.
We have counseled many Christians who, after deciding to leave their church, were told horrifying things. "God is going to withdraw His Spirit from you and your family." "God will destroy your business." "Without our protection, Satan will get your children." "You and your family will come under a curse." This is spiritual blackmail and it's abuse. And it does cause people to stay in abusive places.
Humiliation
The third method of calling forth misplaced loyalty is the threat of humiliation. This is done by publicly shaming, exposing, or threatening to remove people from the group.
Unquestionably, there is a place for appropriate church discipline. In the abusive system, it is the fear of being exposed, humiliated or removed that insures your proper allegiance, and insulates those in authority. You can be "exposed" for asking too many questions, for disobeying the unspoken rules, or for disagreeing with authority. People are made public examples in order to send a message to those who remain. Others have phone campaigns launched against them, to warn their friends and others in the group about how "dangerous" they are.
7. Secretive
When you see people in a religious system being secretive-- watch out. People don't hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate.
One reason spiritual abusive families and churches are secretive is because they are so image conscious. People in these systems can't even live up to their own performance standards, so they have to hide what is real. Some believe they must do this to protect God's good name. So how things look and what others think becomes more important than what's real. They become God's "public relations agents." The truth is, He's not hiring anyone for this position.
Another reason for secrecy in a church is that the leadership has a condescending, negative view of the laity. This results in conspiracies on the leadership level. They tell themselves, "People are not mature enough to handle truth." This is patronizing at best. Conspiracies also develop among the lay people. Since it is not all right [sic] to notice or talk about problems, people form conspiracies behind closed doors and over the telephone as they try to solve things informally. But since they have no authority, they solve, and solve, and solve-- but nothing really gets solved. And all the while, building God's true kingdom is put on hold.
What does the bible say about spiritual abuse?
Jeff VanVonderan states, “It looked essentially the same then as it does now. Spiritual leaders exploited people for their own gain. Authority was misused in order to get things done in the name of God that weren’t really about God at all. Jeremiah talked about those who heal other people’s wounds superficially. Their real wounds were not dealt with; they were just glossed over for the sake of external appearances. That’s part of the dynamics of spiritual abuse. I think that God’s big gripe with the leaders of Israel, if you look at Ezekiel and Isaiah and Jeremiah, was that they were not using the authority they had been given for the benefit of the weak, for those who didn’t have a voice. They were using their authority for their own purposes and for the sake of human kingdoms. The result in people’s lives then was the same as now: spiritual exhaustion rooted in misconceptions about who God is, about what God wants from us and about God’s stance toward us.
The New Testament gives essentially the same picture. There aren’t a lot of times when Jesus is harsh; Jesus is not known for harshness. But about spiritual abuse he was very harsh. For example, in Matthew 23 he not only describes the dynamics that were going on between the Pharisees and the people, but he also warns people about the Pharisees. He urges them to stay away from the Pharisees. He calls the Pharisees names. He paints pictures about them. For example, he talks about the Pharisees as “whitewashed tombs.” That might seem like merely a picture of hypocrisy—being one way on the outside and a different way on the inside. But there is more than that in this picture. People at that time believed that if you touched a tomb you would be defiled. So Jesus is not only calling the Pharisees hypocrites; he is saying that if you fall under their influence you could become defiled—spiritually affected in a negative way. “Ravenous wolves” is another picture Jesus drew of spiritually abusive leaders. He’s talking about leaders who devour instead of build up. It is very clear when the Bible talks about the purpose of authority that it is for building up, for encouraging and for setting people free. The pictures that Jesus drew paint a stark contrast between the abusive use of authority and appropriate uses of authority.
The abuse of authority was also a central concern for Paul. His main adversaries were the people who thought he was being too graceful. They felt a need to correct his teaching and to help people understand that the Good News is not just about what God has done but also about the things we need to do. They were called the circumcision party, because they added that particular religious behavior to Christ’s behavior as a means of securing God’s approval. This theme of “legalistic teachers” comes up all the time in Paul’s letters. He warns the church at Ephesus that the people who try to add to the Good News in this way will not only come from outside the Christian community but from inside the Christian community as well. So they have to be on their guard [Acts 20:29–31].
In the book of Titus, Paul provides a long list of the qualities desirable in a leader. But then he says that leaders need to take a proactive stance in terms of building people up in grace, and a defensive stance in terms of guarding the flock from people who try to destroy it—especially those who try to add some kind of religious requirements or behavioral demands on top of the grace of God. It is the people who say you need Jesus plus something else, that Paul is warning about.
The letter of Galatians is another example. It is a very angry letter. It’s all about the idea that God’s approval comes from Jesus plus something that you do. Paul attacks this view from every possible angle he can think of. Once again he calls the Jesus-Plus people bad names and wishes bad things will happen to them. Very early in the book of Galatians he asks the people to whom he is writing, “Where is the sense of blessing you once had?”
Most of the people I work with, when they first became Christians, it was very clear to them that it was not about performance. It was only about what God did. And this gracefull message gave them a sense of blessing. They felt restful. Even if that feeling didn’t last very long, their spiritual journey started in a very deeply grace-full, rest-full place. They knew they needed a gift and that God had provided just the gift they needed. But then what happens very quickly is that people get taught or led to measure themselves based on themselves instead of measuring themselves based on what Christ did. That leads rapidly to a loss of that sense of blessing, of rest, of grace. What happens is that people start trying to “measure up.” And that, of course, doesn’t work. “
References:
Johnson, D & VanVonderen, J (1977) 'The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse': The Lockman Foundation.
Don Veinot, Joy Veinot, Ron Henzel, (2002) ‘A Mattr of Basic Principles, Bill Gothard & the Christian Life’: 21st Century Press
Jon Zens, ( ) ‘No Will of My Own, How Patriarchy Smothers Femal Dignity & Personhood’:
Hillary McFarland ( ) ‘Quivering Daughters, Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy’:
Hall, S (2003) 'Spiritual Abuse': Youthwork March 2003 pp32-35
Janet Heimlich, ( ) ‘Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment’
Okeyan, PY (2000) 'Manipulation, Domination and Control': Kingsway
Fehlauer, M (2001) 'Exposing Spiritual Abuse': Charisma House Florida
Arteburn, S & Felton, J (2003) 'Toxic Faith Experiencing Healing from Painful Spiritual Abuse': Waterbrook Springs, Colorado
Blue, K (1993) 'Healing Spiritual Abuse-How to Break Free From Bad Church Experiences': Intervasity Press, Illinois
Enroth, R (1992) 'Churches that Abuse': Grand Rapids MI: Zondervan
Appleton, J (2003) 'Spiritual Abuse': Christianity and Renewal June 2003
Chrnalogar, M.A. (2000) 'Twisted Scriptures': Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Ohio
Parsons, K (2000) 'UnGodly Fear': Lion
Beasley-Murray, (1998) 'Power for God's Sake': Paternoster Press
Characteristics of a spiritually abusive parent or leader:
- Parent/leader threatens punishment by God if individual does not fully comply with parent/leader’s abusive, controlling, manipulating demands
- Parent/leader's misuse/abuse of scripture toward individual in order to obtain submission of individual
- Extreme manipulation, dominance and control of individual by parent/leader
- Social isolation of child/individual (not allowed to be with friends, speak to friends on phone, not allowed to watch television or listen to the radio, not allowed to date, not allowed to seek counseling, etc).
- A parent/fatherl/leader claims that only they/he is called by God to make decisions on behalf of a child’s future (i.e. whom a child should marry, what occupation a child may obtain, if a child will be allowed to attend college, etc), even up into adulthood, especially for a daughter.
- Parent/father claims that God only speaks to the them; God’s will is only revealed to a parent/father, not to a child/young adult, especially a daughter.
- Child must partake in secrecy of the abusive behaviors of the parent. Parent may even go as far as to use the scripture found in Deuteronomy 5:16 (KJV)
"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee...". Parents will lead a child to believe that the child will not live long if they dishonor their parents by disclosing to anyone what goes on in the home. Children live in silence as to the abuse in fear that God will terminate their life early. - Child has extreme fear of God and parent if they expose their abusive parent. They are taught that “their life will be cut short (die) by God” based on scriptures used against them, such as, Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” This verse does NOT mean that a child will die if they expose their parent’s abusive behavior, however this is taught in many legalistic religious systems.
- Loss of personal identity, self esteem, and hope of the child. When a daughter is informed by her parents that as a female she can't be heard by God and God can't reveal his will to her, that it can only be revealed to her father and then her husband when she marries, it causes a daughter to lose all hope for any future. There are no longer any choices for the daughter. She has no voice. Her father decides everything for her until she marries and then her husband decides everything for her after she is married.
- Undue loyalty, obedience and submission to parents- The parent/father is portrayed to be anointed by God and is always right, even if he is an ‘unbeliever’. Children are taught they should submit to anything the parent requires. The child is taught that God will bless that submission even if the parent is wrong, physically, verbally or sexually abusive.
- Parental Authoritarianism - The parent’s system is characterized by excessive rules and a power structure that has no accountability (such as a church, pastor, relative, etc) and can’t be questioned. If a child questions the parent’s system or raises a question or concern, the child becomes the problem and must be harshly punished
- Parental image is everything - As Jeff VanVonderen says, "How things look is more important than what is real." (Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, page 130)
- Perfectionism of child – works are crucial and of utmost importance as well as submission of child in order to keep God's blessing and prevent God’s curse
- Unbalanced system – unrealistic rules forced upon child, extremely unfair/unjust punishment of child for breaking rules
The effects of spiritual abuse on children by parents:
- Anger/rage due to powerlessness of abuse in childhood
- Confusion, anxiety and depression due to abuse in childhood
- Unhealthy and distorted view of God
- Loss of ability to trust God and others
- Low self-esteem and self worth
- Co-dependency in adulthood
- Lack of boundaries in adulthood
- Controlling and abusive behavior in adulthood with friends, spouse, coworkers, etc
How does God view spiritual abuse:
When a child believes what they are told to be from God, but it turns out to be false, he/she can experience disappointment and disillusionment not only with the parent who led him/her in the counsel, but toward God Himself. That is why spiritual abuse is so serious in God's eyes.
God’s heart toward the spiritually abused child: Jesus said regarding children. “If anyone causes one of these little ones, those who believe in me, to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 8:16
Jeff VanVonderen observes that the symptoms exhibited by one who suffers spiritual abuse are point by point the same as a victim of incest. Each is a case of a trusted caregiver violating that trust in one of the most intimate parts of our human nature.
Marks of a Spiritually Abusive Environment
The following consists of verbatim citations of copyrighted material from Chapter 5,6 of "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.”
1. Power-Posturing
Power-posturing simply means leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and reminding others of it, as well.
They spend a lot of energy posturing about how much authority they have and how much everyone else is supposed to submit to it. The fact that they are eager to place people under them-- under their word, under their "authority"-- is one easy-to-spot clue that they are operating in their own authority.
2. Performance Preoccupation
In abusive spiritual systems, power is postured and authority is legislated. Therefore, these systems are preoccupied with the performance of their members. Obedience and submission are two important words often used.
The way to tell if someone is doing the right thing for the wrong reason is if they are keeping track of it. Let's say that another way. If obedience and service is flowing out of you as a result of your own dependence on God alone, you won't keep track of it with an eye toward reward, you'll just do it. But if you're preoccupied with whether you've done enough to please God, then you're not looking at Him, you're looking at your own works. And you're also concerned about who else might be looking at you, evaluating you. What would anyone keep track of their godly behavior unless they were trying to earn spiritual points because of it?
For many reasons, followers sometimes obey or follow orders to avoid being shamed, to gain someone's approval, or to keep their spiritual status or position intact. This is not true obedience or submission, it is compliant self-seeking. When behavior is simply legislated from the outside, instead of coming from a heart that loves God, it cannot be called obedience. It is merely weak compliance to some form of external pressure.
3. Unspoken Rules
In abusive spiritual systems, people's lives are controlled from the outside in by rules, spoken and unspoken. Unspoken rules are those that govern unhealthy churches or families but are not said out loud. Because they are not said out loud, you don't find out that they're there until you break them.
The most powerful of all unspoken rules in the abusive system is what we have already termed the "can't talk" rule. The "can't talk" [rule] has this thinking behind it: "The real problem cannot be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change; so it must be protected behind walls of silence (neglect) or by assault (legalistic attack). If you speak about the problem, you are the problem.
4. Lack of Balance
The fourth characteristic of a spiritual abusive system is an unbalanced approach to living out the truth of the Christian life. This shows itself in two extremes:
Extreme Objectivism
The first extreme is an empirical approach to life, which elevates objective truth to the exclusion of valid subjective experience.
This approach to spirituality creates a system in which authority is based upon the level of education and intellectual capacity alone, rather than on intimacy with God, obedience and sensitivity to His Spirit.
Extreme Subjectivism
The other manifestation of lack of balance is seen in an extremely subjective approach to the Christian life. What is true is decided on the basis of feelings and experiences, giving more weight to them than what the Bible declares. In this system, people can't know or understand truths (even if they really do understand or know them) until the leaders "receive them by spiritual revelation from the Lord" and "impart" them to the people.
In such systems, it is more important to act according to the word of a leader who has "a word" for you than to act according to what you know to be true from Scripture, or simply from your spiritual growth-history.
As with the extreme objective approach, Christians who are highly subjective also have a view of education-- most often, that education is bad or unnecessary. There is almost a pride in not being educated, and a disdain for those who are. Everything that is needed is taught through the Holy Spirit. ("After all, Peter and Timothy didn't go to college or seminary...")
5. Paranoia
In the church that is spiritually abusive, there is a sense, spoken or unspoken, that "others will not understand what we're all about, so let's not let them know-- that way they won't be able to ridicule or persecute us." There is an assumption that (1) what we say, know, or do is a result of our being more enlightened that others; (2) others will not understand unless they become one of us; and (3) others will respond negatively.
In a place where authority is grasped and legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous, or unspiritual people outside of the system who are trying to weaken or destroy "us." This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave-- because they will then be outsiders too. While it is true that there is a world of evil outside of the system, there is also good out there. But people are misled into thinking that the only safety is in the system.
Ironically, Jesus and Paul both warned that one of the worst dangers to the flock was from wolves in the house (Matthew 10:16, Acts 20:29-30).
6. Misplaced Loyalty
The next characteristic of spiritually abusive systems is that a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. We're not talking about loyalty to Christ, but about loyalty to a given organization, church, or leader.
Once again, because authority is assumed or legislated (and therefore not real), following must be legislated as well. A common way this is accomplished is by setting up a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God. Questioning leaders is equal to questioning God.
"We Alone Are Right"
There are three factors that come into place here, adding up to a misplaced loyalty. First, leadership projects a "we alone are right" mentality, which permeates the system. Members must remain in the system if they want to be "safe," or to stay "on good terms" with God, or not be viewed as wrong or "backslidden."
Scare Tactics
The second factor that brings about misplaced loyalty is the use of "scare tactics." We're already seen this in some of the paranoia described in the last section. Scare tactics are more serious. This is more than just the risk of being polluted by the world.
We have counseled many Christians who, after deciding to leave their church, were told horrifying things. "God is going to withdraw His Spirit from you and your family." "God will destroy your business." "Without our protection, Satan will get your children." "You and your family will come under a curse." This is spiritual blackmail and it's abuse. And it does cause people to stay in abusive places.
Humiliation
The third method of calling forth misplaced loyalty is the threat of humiliation. This is done by publicly shaming, exposing, or threatening to remove people from the group.
Unquestionably, there is a place for appropriate church discipline. In the abusive system, it is the fear of being exposed, humiliated or removed that insures your proper allegiance, and insulates those in authority. You can be "exposed" for asking too many questions, for disobeying the unspoken rules, or for disagreeing with authority. People are made public examples in order to send a message to those who remain. Others have phone campaigns launched against them, to warn their friends and others in the group about how "dangerous" they are.
7. Secretive
When you see people in a religious system being secretive-- watch out. People don't hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate.
One reason spiritual abusive families and churches are secretive is because they are so image conscious. People in these systems can't even live up to their own performance standards, so they have to hide what is real. Some believe they must do this to protect God's good name. So how things look and what others think becomes more important than what's real. They become God's "public relations agents." The truth is, He's not hiring anyone for this position.
Another reason for secrecy in a church is that the leadership has a condescending, negative view of the laity. This results in conspiracies on the leadership level. They tell themselves, "People are not mature enough to handle truth." This is patronizing at best. Conspiracies also develop among the lay people. Since it is not all right [sic] to notice or talk about problems, people form conspiracies behind closed doors and over the telephone as they try to solve things informally. But since they have no authority, they solve, and solve, and solve-- but nothing really gets solved. And all the while, building God's true kingdom is put on hold.
What does the bible say about spiritual abuse?
Jeff VanVonderan states, “It looked essentially the same then as it does now. Spiritual leaders exploited people for their own gain. Authority was misused in order to get things done in the name of God that weren’t really about God at all. Jeremiah talked about those who heal other people’s wounds superficially. Their real wounds were not dealt with; they were just glossed over for the sake of external appearances. That’s part of the dynamics of spiritual abuse. I think that God’s big gripe with the leaders of Israel, if you look at Ezekiel and Isaiah and Jeremiah, was that they were not using the authority they had been given for the benefit of the weak, for those who didn’t have a voice. They were using their authority for their own purposes and for the sake of human kingdoms. The result in people’s lives then was the same as now: spiritual exhaustion rooted in misconceptions about who God is, about what God wants from us and about God’s stance toward us.
The New Testament gives essentially the same picture. There aren’t a lot of times when Jesus is harsh; Jesus is not known for harshness. But about spiritual abuse he was very harsh. For example, in Matthew 23 he not only describes the dynamics that were going on between the Pharisees and the people, but he also warns people about the Pharisees. He urges them to stay away from the Pharisees. He calls the Pharisees names. He paints pictures about them. For example, he talks about the Pharisees as “whitewashed tombs.” That might seem like merely a picture of hypocrisy—being one way on the outside and a different way on the inside. But there is more than that in this picture. People at that time believed that if you touched a tomb you would be defiled. So Jesus is not only calling the Pharisees hypocrites; he is saying that if you fall under their influence you could become defiled—spiritually affected in a negative way. “Ravenous wolves” is another picture Jesus drew of spiritually abusive leaders. He’s talking about leaders who devour instead of build up. It is very clear when the Bible talks about the purpose of authority that it is for building up, for encouraging and for setting people free. The pictures that Jesus drew paint a stark contrast between the abusive use of authority and appropriate uses of authority.
The abuse of authority was also a central concern for Paul. His main adversaries were the people who thought he was being too graceful. They felt a need to correct his teaching and to help people understand that the Good News is not just about what God has done but also about the things we need to do. They were called the circumcision party, because they added that particular religious behavior to Christ’s behavior as a means of securing God’s approval. This theme of “legalistic teachers” comes up all the time in Paul’s letters. He warns the church at Ephesus that the people who try to add to the Good News in this way will not only come from outside the Christian community but from inside the Christian community as well. So they have to be on their guard [Acts 20:29–31].
In the book of Titus, Paul provides a long list of the qualities desirable in a leader. But then he says that leaders need to take a proactive stance in terms of building people up in grace, and a defensive stance in terms of guarding the flock from people who try to destroy it—especially those who try to add some kind of religious requirements or behavioral demands on top of the grace of God. It is the people who say you need Jesus plus something else, that Paul is warning about.
The letter of Galatians is another example. It is a very angry letter. It’s all about the idea that God’s approval comes from Jesus plus something that you do. Paul attacks this view from every possible angle he can think of. Once again he calls the Jesus-Plus people bad names and wishes bad things will happen to them. Very early in the book of Galatians he asks the people to whom he is writing, “Where is the sense of blessing you once had?”
Most of the people I work with, when they first became Christians, it was very clear to them that it was not about performance. It was only about what God did. And this gracefull message gave them a sense of blessing. They felt restful. Even if that feeling didn’t last very long, their spiritual journey started in a very deeply grace-full, rest-full place. They knew they needed a gift and that God had provided just the gift they needed. But then what happens very quickly is that people get taught or led to measure themselves based on themselves instead of measuring themselves based on what Christ did. That leads rapidly to a loss of that sense of blessing, of rest, of grace. What happens is that people start trying to “measure up.” And that, of course, doesn’t work. “
References:
Johnson, D & VanVonderen, J (1977) 'The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse': The Lockman Foundation.
Don Veinot, Joy Veinot, Ron Henzel, (2002) ‘A Mattr of Basic Principles, Bill Gothard & the Christian Life’: 21st Century Press
Jon Zens, ( ) ‘No Will of My Own, How Patriarchy Smothers Femal Dignity & Personhood’:
Hillary McFarland ( ) ‘Quivering Daughters, Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy’:
Hall, S (2003) 'Spiritual Abuse': Youthwork March 2003 pp32-35
Janet Heimlich, ( ) ‘Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment’
Okeyan, PY (2000) 'Manipulation, Domination and Control': Kingsway
Fehlauer, M (2001) 'Exposing Spiritual Abuse': Charisma House Florida
Arteburn, S & Felton, J (2003) 'Toxic Faith Experiencing Healing from Painful Spiritual Abuse': Waterbrook Springs, Colorado
Blue, K (1993) 'Healing Spiritual Abuse-How to Break Free From Bad Church Experiences': Intervasity Press, Illinois
Enroth, R (1992) 'Churches that Abuse': Grand Rapids MI: Zondervan
Appleton, J (2003) 'Spiritual Abuse': Christianity and Renewal June 2003
Chrnalogar, M.A. (2000) 'Twisted Scriptures': Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Ohio
Parsons, K (2000) 'UnGodly Fear': Lion
Beasley-Murray, (1998) 'Power for God's Sake': Paternoster Press
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