30 warning signs and red flags of an abusive partner:

Ask yourself if your partner has any of these signs of abuse. If you find many of these statements to be true in your relationship, then you may be in an unhealthy abusive relationship.  You may need a support group to help you break away from an abusive partner. 

A Journey to Joy Support Group can help you and give you the encouragement and strength you need to heal, set healthy boundaries and make wise choices in your relationships.

1. You constantly make excuses and apologize to others for your partner’s bad behavior.
   
   
2. Your partner pressures or forces you to have intimacy with him and touches you inappropriately without your consent.
   
   
3. Your partner tries to constantly monitor what you wear and how you look.
   
   
4. Your partner wants to monitor who you hang out with and who you are friends with.
   
   
5. You constantly break up and get back together with your partner because they have promised to change.
   
   
6. Your partner plays mind games, guilt trips, and manipulates you.  He makes statements like, “I can’t live without you,” or “If you love me, you will do what I’m asking.”
   
   
7. Your partner is extremely jealous.  He frequently accuses you of cheating on him.  He is overly demanding of your time and attention.  
   
   
8. Your partner is extremely possessive of you.  He tries to keep tabs on who you see, where you go, and who you talk to.
   
   
9. Your partner has been violent in the past.  He has a history of fighting or domestic violence, but has put the blame on the other person involved and has taken no personal responsibility.  
   
   
10. You frequently fight and have arguments with your partner, and he blames you for his abuse by claiming, “If you had not been mouthy, I would not have acted the way I did,” or “if you weren’t so bossy, incompetent, or continually late, I would not have been so mad and hurt you.”
    
    
11. You check in with your partner continually throughout the day so your partner doesn’t get mad, upset or worry about you.
    
    
12. You have become isolated and don’t participate in your usual activities because it makes your partner unhappy.
    
    
13. You have become depressed.  Your eating and/or sleeping habits have changed due to your unhappiness and the stress in your relationship.
    
    
14. Your partner has physically threatened you or someone you love.
    
    
15. Your partner has broke objects, slammed furnishings, punched walls, thrown things, kicked doors or hurt pets.
    
    
16. Your partner has used force during an argument with you, such as holding you down, preventing you from leaving a room, ripping your covers off in the middle of the night, throwing you over his shoulder, pushing or shoving you, or forcing you to look at him when he speaks by grabbing your face.
    
    
17. Your partner wants to check your cell phone or Facebook, etc. to check up on you.
    
    
18. Your partner texts or calls you continually throughout the day and gets angry if you do not immediately respond to his excessive contact with you.
    
    
19. Your partner wanted to be quickly involved with you as soon as he met you and pressured you into a commitment shortly after meeting you
    
    
20. Your partner has extreme mood swings, sensitivity, sulking, and/or makes drastic claims, such as ”it was love at first sight” with you or he believes that “we are soul mates” or “no one could ever love you as much as I love  you.”
    
    
21. Your partner has said that all he needs in this life is you.  He would be happy if you both were the only two people on earth.
    
    
22. Your partner would prefer that the two of you were isolated.  He is unhappy if you do things with other people.  He has tried to eliminate your support system (family, friends, etc).
    
    
23. Your partner blames you for his bad feelings and bad behaviors.
    
    
24. Your partner is easily angered, even over minor setbacks, difficulties or injustices, such as a driver that cuts in front of him or waiting in long lines.
    
    
25. Your partner has initiated sex with you when you were sick or recently after child birth when you were physically unable and has even guilt-tripped you for not allowing it.
    
    
26. Your partner lacks empathy or compassion for you.  Your partner would not take you to the doctor/hospital when you were very sick or given you basic care when in need.
    
    
27. Your partner has demanded that you watch pornography with him even though you have made it clear that it is offensive to you.
    
    
28. Your partner views women as inferior to men and has even distorted scripture to support his belief.
    
    
29. Your partner has very manipulative and controlling behavior.  He has tried to prohibit you from getting a job, prevented you from attending college, or having your name on a joint bank account, or has tried to get you fired from a job.
    
    
30. Your partner accuses you of doing what he is doing or blatantly denies that he said certain things or engaged in certain bad behavior that you witnessed him do.  He may even go as far as try to convince you that you are delusional, have mental problems or are lying to frame him.
    
    

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